If you are still here then you are interested in being single for Valentine’s. As a person who has been single for most of my life and probably for the rest of my life (this is not a cry for help). I am going to give you the run down on the best ways and methods you can us/do to stay single for this and future valentines.

1. Not talking to anyone: A great way to have nobody interested in you is to not talk to anyone. If you don’t talk to anyone and mind your own business, nobody can get to know you or see who you are, but this could attract people to you because you are so mysterious. People would now want to know why you don’t talk to people and what sort of trauma you properly have. A way to counter act this is to hide in a massive turtle shell so when you people approach you and you go into your turtle shell, people will think you are being protective and will leave you alone.
2. No meeting anybody/hiding: If you stay inside your house/hide from the world it’s impossible for anybody to meet you. The only flaw in this is that when you go to get your Grub Hub or Amazon packages, the deliver people could try to talk to you. The best thing to do in this situation is to hide out until they leave or grab your food like a gremlin and it will scare them off.
3. Say you’re already with somebody: One thing that makes almost anyone stop trying to date you is saying you are already with somebody. You can tell them that you are already dating, have boy/girlfriend, married, or in a situationship. You can tell them whatever you like when they ask you “where do they live” you can also tell them anywhere. you can tell them they live here, in a state over, in Canada or in Uranus. It doesn’t matter if they don’t believe you — what are they going to do? Tell you you’re wrong?
4. Become chopped: Sadly, most people only care for looks in society so one way to get rid of potential boy/girlfriends is to become chopped — and I’m not talking about not doing your makeup or facial routine I’m talking about going full feral goblin mode. You got to look like you’re a monster in cave or dungeon. Know there is one problem with this: People could still be attracted to your personality. Because of that, you need your personality to become chopped as well. You can get into very disturbing and creepy stuff or just become a feral animal.

In conclusion, if you do any of the things I have listed here and can guarantee you that you will have a 99.99% chance of staying single for Valentine’s and absolutely destroying your reputation for life. Just remember: Do not do all these steps at once because who knows what will happen.